Thursday, September 19, 2013

Freedom



Riding BIG and low... The fat lady is free!
If you know me at all, you know I can be pretty type A... Knocking out a to-do list brings me joy. So bedrest was kind of killer on my emotions. Not only could I not do anything around the house to help my family, I was constantly feeling sorry for my 3 year old who was bored out of her mind. I really couldn't have imagined how hard it would be until I had to do it. I felt bad not getting up, but I felt even worse getting up and worrying I was going to put my other kid in harms way. It was probably harder than the 4 months of puking until I wished I was dead that started this pregnancy, which is saying something. I don't know how people survive doing it for months on end. 5 weeks felt like forever.
I'm so grateful I had great people around who were willing to help. The biggest thing was just getting Lorelai out of the house so she could get some of her (abundant) energy out. When your 3 year old asks to go to the park and you have to say no, trying to explain but knowing she doesn't get why... It kind of makes you want to cry. So so so glad it's over. And so so glad little Mann stuck with me.
They aren't trying to stop my labor anymore so baby boy will come when he pleases. I'm still taking it easy as I really want to have as much time with him in my belly as I can. But I'm no longer feeling agoraphobic- I can go to the park. I can go stroll around target!
Soon enough he will be here and all this craziness will be forgotten. Icky memories will be replaced with smiles and coos and that perfect heaven smell that only newborns have. And it'll all be more than worth it.
Xxxx
KM

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