Wednesday, August 18, 2010

WARNING: i am really tired and cant guarantee this makes sense

Motherhood: A hood of mother. A never ending, constantly changing, exhausting, exhilarating experience.

Lorelai woke up every hour and a half last night. No explanation. Eating fine, no temperature... not sick. I guess she just likes me? My guess is teething... chris got teeth this early. She drools and chews on her hand constantly lately. OR.... she just likes me.

Sometimes there is no explanation. OR you find an explanation just to find out 2 days later it was the wrong explanation. Oh by the way Lorelai is not allergic to peanuts.

Tired? Ha. HaHAAAAA HAAAAA! thats funny.

My favorite part of the day is picking lorelai up in the morning. She giggles and wiggles and is bursting with excitement to see me.

worth it? yes friend. on every level. worth throwing up when i was pregnant and swelling up to 3 times my normal size during delivery. worth all 26 hours of labor. worth not sleeping and realizing at the end of the day that i never brushed my teeth or showered. worth peeing myself for a month after her birth. (yikes that was graphic)... YES worth it. Because right now she is laying in my lap eating and stroking my ribs. I am so lucky that i get to breastfeed. It is the most natural beautiful thing ever and i will miss it when i start to wean her in 6 short months. I will also miss the 500 calories a day it burns. Bye bye ice cream binges.

My baby doesnt cuddle very often. She likes her space, her own room, her own bed. She likes to face out and see everything. When i was pregnant i asked that my daughters be independant, strong willed, unafraid to say no. I certainly got what i wished for. She loves to protest.

Either I suck as a mom or there are some pretty ridiculous "rules" out there. I break them daily. And the worst part? I smile as i do it. knowing that someone out there would tell me i shouldnt or couldnt makes me snicker to myself. I can and will. And lorelai loves every minute of it. Dont worry... i am not talking about not using a car seat or something. Just singing lady gaga to her and helping her shake her booty. letting her stay in the bath with me even though i am risking her peeing or pooping everywhere just to let her play for an extra 10 minutes. Taking her to lagoon and the zoo and hiking and wherever else chris and i decide to go... regardless of her age. Letting people hold her without making them hand sanitize. Painting her toenails to match mine. Letting her taste my pineapple/lemon/popsicle. She is sturdy, she can handle it.

There are only about 5 real rules:
*dont let them die
*feed them
*let them sleep
*change their diaper
*bathe them

There are like 7,242,031,710,354 ways to do all of that and none of them are perfect... there are arguements for all sides. Forever and ever again I vow to only give advice when asked and still phrase it this way "well this is what i did." because what i did may not work for your kid. I like that that phrase rhymes. I should somehow try to make money off of that.

I hate money. Rephrase: I hate how spending it makes me feel guilty. BUT i love how saving it gave me the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. So I guess that breaks even. Thanks mom and dad. Without tuition money we would STRUGGLE hardcore.

Chris and I were talking about the trips we have taken since marriage. Australia, England, France, Germany... THANKS MOM AND DAD. PS We talked about cronulla and how that is both of our happy places. I could never live there because I wouldnt want to ruin it. In my head that is what heaven is like.

Just got back from putting lolli bear to beddy byes. I love how becoming a mom makes you sounds like a doofus. One of my favorite perks. She held on to my shirt and snuggled into me as I sang and rocked her in the rocking chair until she got drowsy. Then I put her in her crib and she stared at the monkey on her bumper until she fell asleep. I love that little ball of fat more than life. I love every sound she makes and how she scrunches her nose when she smiles big. I love how her eyes get sleepy and she can hardly hold up her head but she would rather play with daddy than go to sleep. I love her webbed toes and her crazy hemangioma that everyone freaks out about when they see it. I love that she is a part of me and that she is mine forever and ever. I LOVE BEING A MOM. even on the rough days.

Some stuff i like...

"I believe that motherhood enhances a woman’s relationship with her Father in Heaven, and thus with her fellow beings. In no other pursuit have I felt the Lord so anxious to bless me with wisdom, energy, and creativity. The fact is that my children are also his, and he loves them and wants to bless them, and often does so through me. The most direct and clearest answers to my prayers have been when I needed help as a mother."


Mr. T on motherhood

2 comments:

  1. Yay for mommies!!! That Mr. T video is awesome, to say the least. Can't wait to meet that little ball of fat!!

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  2. i agree. motherhood is the best hood. nothing better in life! i loved breast feeding too. it's the best when they look up and laugh at you with your nipple hanging out of their mouth. haha. seriously though. i love it. except for im not one of those lucky ones like you that burn the calories breastfeeding. i GAIN weight! lucky you!

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